Friday, June 1, 2007

Catching a Fish

I've never understood how mobsters come up with their nicknames. Maybe its some sort of complicated hazing ritual by which the lower ranking members of the family suffer through ridiculing animals. Or maybe its which ever animal cracker you pull from the jar the Boss is holding.

Somehow, this man, Douglas Robert Durmont was labeled Dougie the Fish. Perhaps its due to his propensity for alchohol or his accountable gills. I cant be sure, but the moniker of "The Fish" has to be fairly low on the mobster totem pole. The fact that he decided to turn over evidence linking the local mob boss to a recent crimespree involving the theft of waste believed to be used in MK-Elixer experimentation would likely rank him up to atleast "Dougie the Badger" if not "Dougie the Wildebeast". I ought to become a mob boss, the names would be far more inventive.

Until such time as I do however, I need to make sure this man makes it to his trial date, and unfortunately for our fishy friend, the S.U.N.'s idea of witness protection is to assure them that there is no risk in their precious blue zones. I happen to know better, even if Dougie doesnt. His testimony is a crucial lead in tracking down those responsible for the expierments. This assignment is strictly Catch and Release.

Poor Dougie.. a small fish in a rapidly increasing pond.